back·list
/ˈbakˌlist/
noun
noun: backlist; plural noun: backlists
a publisher's list of older books still in print.
"backlist titles"1
It’s not unusual for markers of growth to become points of a certain kind of shame, embarrassment, self-flagellation: here is the proof of all I did not know and somehow should have, here are various instances of the rough edges of my talent undermining the story I wanted to tell.
It’s a perspective I try to avoid when revisiting my past work because it’s already punishing enough, at times, to be an author. It seems less productive to wield my hindsight as an extension of that punishment—at least in an artistic sense. Earlier work should lack the finesse of the work that follows, and the work that follows should serve as testament to what the work before it achieved. It is the job of an artist to grow and to challenge themselves. I look back and I see that I did: here is what my persistence created from nothing, here, the rough edges of my talent telling a story, and proving itself.
From a professional and creative standpoint, however, my feelings toward my backlist are more complex. Professionally, what you don’t know in this industry might not kill you—but is not always designed to make you stronger. Creatively, you must contend with and navigate the perceptions and expectations your older work forms around you and to find a way for your future work to assert itself against both, without also betraying the privilege of your past.
I read somewhere that my best work was behind me, Nick Cave2 wrote in The Sick Bag Song. But where?
My browser search history shows variations of ‘authors who disowned their past work’ to be a frequent query of mine toward the end of last year, as I prepared the news I am about to share. Not because I wanted to disown mine—I don’t—but because I wanted to better understand how to hold the opposing tensions of moving your art forward when its past is so immediate and accessible, and when so many readers still find you there, which is, in itself, the ongoing gift of those who originally found you there.
My career began when I was 24, and I’m turning 38 this year, and reconciling the distance of those ages, those artists, their art, does not always feel possible, but then again—should it?
For me, the answer is no.
And it’s fitting, because I realize their distance from me becomes their closeness to you. The continued relevance and resonance of my earliest titles makes them more yours than mine, and I think that’s ultimately how it’s supposed to be. The greatest conversations my art inspires should occur beyond me, without me, and it’s from this place I’ve contemplated what these books and their readers need from me now. What can I offer without intruding or imposing on or taking away from their experience while moving forward in a way that honors it—while keeping my own distance close?
You have regularly asked if my backlist will ever be physically reissued. The question became more frequent following Cracked Up to Be’s 2020 rerelease; it was and is something you want to see. I’ve been persisting on its behalf for some time behind the scenes, and finally connected with the editorial vision and enthusiasm required to make a little magic happen. Thank you to Eileen Rothschild and the team members at Macmillan who have facilitated an ebook refresh of my first five titles.
These refreshed ebook editions are available now across all platforms for $7.99, featuring new covers designed by Kerri Resnick, which were officially realized from these concepts (if astute readers wonder why they feel familiar), updated text and some bonus content.
I’m very appreciative of these covers, especially in the context of what they will lend to Parker’s, Regina’s, Eddie’s, Sloane’s and Romy’s continued discoverability to those who need their stories the most. In that spirit, I will be referencing them—and encourage others to do the same—going forward.
Beyond updated covers and text, Cracked Up to Be includes a discussion guide and afterword written by me (from the reissue). Some Girls Are includes a discussion guide. Fall for Anything includes a discussion guide and a little known short story, Awake, that I wrote as promotional content at the time. This is Not a Test has been bundled up with the novella sequel, Please Remain Calm, and includes a discussion guide. All the Rage includes a discussion guide.
The value of my early work is most consistently reinforced to me through the eyes of my readers, and your reminders have meant a lot, particularly these last couple of years. I’m very grateful for and humbled by where, in our journeys, we continue to find one another.
Thank you. This was for you.
Purchase the paperback edition of The Project.
Purchase I’m the Girl.
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Source: Google: ‘backlist define’
Yes, Nick again, but his music is the background of my current work and his perspective on loss has helped anchor me against my current grief.
Ahhhh! YES! This is great news. I just replaced my ereader this weekend so I know what my inaugural purchases for it will be. :)
I do understand the complexity of feeling you must have about it, though.
Your back catalogue is amazing and accomplished and does what it needs to for the people who most need it. Never regret it, or let anyone tell you you should. Time changes people and life changes people and writers/artist are people (for anyone who might forget this 🙄) of course you'll change and evolve and grow, that's how it should be 😊. I'm so glad you've won this battle, keep going, and fight like a girl 🤭💖